I took some time out to have a holiday in America last month which explains part of the reason I’ve not updated the site for a while but, to be honest, there was a period where I wondered if I’d ever update the site again.

You see I got some nasty comments and emails from some folk about the Shoaib Akhtar picture I did. These people also saw the Monty Panesar pic, put two and two together and decided I was a racist. I deleted the comments from the blog because I didn’t really think they were the kind of thing people would want to read but this only made the situation worse as my inbox filled up with hate mail.

I am not racist. Some of my best friends have done a poo.

Anyway that, along with my lack of Sky coverage (the IRA* won’t let me have a satellite dish on my flat), Englands abysmal ODI series and, of course, the terrorist outrage in Mumbai left me feeling decidely unbloggy. And before you ask, that’s a real word.

However, after several weeks of staring at a blank WordPress screen, I’m back. Be gentle with me.

* IRA - Ickenham Residents Association

Post from: Flintoffs Ashes.

Not Doing a Poo

Tags: cricket blog, flintoffs ashes, poo

After what was a relatively inconsistent summer for Monty Panesar, the news that he has moved towards the top ten of the ICC Test Match bowling ratings will be very pleasing for the Sikh of Tweak. The England spinner is ranked number eleven in the world and sits five places below Ryan Sidebottom and six places ahead of Andrew Flintoff.

This is, of course, a sign that Panesar is moving in the right direction as a bowler. He has often taken important wickets for England and has the potential to be a match winner for his country on a number of occasions before his career is over. The most significant factor as far as Panesar is concerned though is that there should still be a lot more to come from him.

Panesar hasn’t quite hit the heights that many people would have expected him to after making his international debut in March 2006. Yes, there have been some excellent performances – 6 for 126 in New Zealand during the winter for example. However, this was sandwiched in between a poor time against India and Sri Lanka and most recently against South Africa this summer.

Panesar had a frustrating time of it against Graeme Smith’s men as he took 13 wickets in the four match test series at an average of 31.69. With his overall test average being 31.91 – this series was rather typical of Panesar’s England career to date. It has been good at times, but these times haven’t been often enough. The latest climb in the rankings is a good sign, but it mustn’t be forgotten that he has been as high as 6th in the world at one stage. I suppose this highlights that he can be a lot, lot better than he has shown in recent months.

So, what is the problem with him? With the ability he possesses, why can’t he perform consistently enough to become a world-class spinner? Well, unsurprisingly, Shane Warne has had his say. The former Australian leg-spinner says that Panesar must ‘take more risks’ in order to take wickets. By this, Warne means that he should show more variety by ‘bowling higher and wider’.

Should Panesar take on Warne’s advice, there is every chance he will concede more runs, but I’d place a cricket bet on him taking more wickets. Panesar shouldn’t take on the Ashley ‘tie up an end’ Giles role. He is a born wicket-taker and should bowl in a style to reflect this. Everyone knows that the cricket odds are far more likely to favour England being a successful team if they have a dangerous spinner in their ranks. Panesar is that spinner and it is high time that he starts to have a more significant impact on proceedings.

My biggest concern with him is that I still don’t believe he feels at all comfortable as an England cricketer. Even after a couple of years as an England player I don’t think he feels that he deserves to be there. Perhaps this is because of his inability to bat or field. However, he should believe in his right to perform on cricket’s world stage. Should he not, there is a danger that he will be the ‘nearly man’ of English cricket and this would be a crying shame given his ability with a cricket ball.

Thomas Rooney - Freelance Sports Journalist

Post from: Flintoffs Ashes.

Monty: Magic or Mediocre?

Tags: cricket, monty panesar, shane warne

Just this very morning, as I was walking up my local high street, I passed a TV shop which was showing the cricket. India were giving Australia a fearful hammering and - I swear this is true - a young mum walked past with her baby in a push chair. The baby, seeing Ponting getting bowled by Ishant Sharma, started laughing hysterically and pointing it’s chubby little pink digits at the TV screen.

I’m sure I heard it gurgle “that’ll teach the arrogant bastards..hehehe” although I might have been mistaken.

Aussie cricket blogger Miss Field earlier gave England fans permission to laugh at her team. It seems that even small children are taking her up on the kind offer.

The ex-convicts need to bat out the entire day tomorrow to avoid a heavy defeat. I can’t see them doing that and, it would appear, nor can the toddlers of Great Britain. Huzzah!

Photo credit: Greyman

Post from: Flintoffs Ashes.

Even Babies Hate The Aussies

Tags: australia, cricket, india

The latest member of the Poo Hall of Fame is the Rawalpindi Express himself, Shoaib Akhtar. You know, the chap that twatted his team mate with a bat, slapped his coach, got banned, un-banned and then banned again…and again…and again…The cheeky little blighter.

Still, this honour should cheer him up a bit, eh?

Other members of the Poo Hall of Fame: Andrew Flintoff, Monty Panesar

Post from: Flintoffs Ashes.

Done a Poo - Shoaib Akhtar

Tags: cricket, poo, scaryduck, shoaib akhtar

This audacious shot by KP was from the 2nd Test at Edgbaston in 2006. Enjoy.

Post from: Flintoffs Ashes.

Kevin Pietersen Reverse Slog Sweeps Murali For Six

Tags: cricket, cricket video, england, kevin pietersen, sri lanka

For the full info on the court ruling have a read of the BBC article and the one on CricInfo but essentially Digicel, the sponsors of the West Indies cricket team, have got their panties in a bunch and are unhappy that they’re going to receive little or no money from the $20 million head to head.

I’m not going to go into the rights or wrongs of the mini tournament Allen Stanford has organised. Well, not in this article, anyway, but I do have to ask the question on why this is an ICC recognised match in the first place. Let’s face it, folks, it’s nothing more than a glorified beer match. It’s not an international cricket fixture, for Gods sake.

I had no intention of writing about this whole sordid affair but todays news had me reaching…for the keyboard. Everything about this whole, sorry episode has me questioning the future of the beautiful game.

Oh bollocks. I’ve got one in my bonnet now so…

I find it obscene that any of the players, whether they be West Indians Stanford All Stars or England players are going to become dollar millionaires for playing a single game of cricket. It’s not even a proper fucking game of cricket. It says something for the tournament when the warm up game for the “main event” is a legends beach cricket match.

Now I’m sure that Allen Stanford has the best interest of the game at heart and he’s probably bemused by all this but come on. Enough is enough. How much more shit can we take about “player burnout” and then watch another meaningless cricket tournament on our pay-per-view subscriptions? IPL anyone? ICC Champions Trophy?

I’ve got a major beef with the ECB for agreeing to this match. It spells bad news for the future of cricket and I can’t understand why they took this on especially since they’re cash rich with the renewed Sky contract. I used to advertise Sky on this site but I’ve stopped now because, in some ways, I see Sky as being part of the problem.

Ball bags.

It’s late at night. I’ve had a few beers. I may not be as coherent as I should be and I’m sure that this post will pose as many questions as answers but, in essence, I’ll be more than happy if this dreadful whoring of cricket never happens.

Image credit: Duchessa

Post from: Flintoffs Ashes.

Stanford Twenty20 Cancelled

Tags: allen stanford, cricket, england, twenty20, west indies

The Durham man says that the next 12 months is going to be ‘exciting and intense’ for the England team and that despite all the money available in the Stanford series, the Ashes is ‘one to really win’. Of course, Harmison was dropped after a poor start to the New Zealand series in the winter but has come back to the fold under new captain Kevin Pietersen firing on all cylinders. The England bowling attack really does look much, much stronger with Harmison involved. Especially when he acts as part of the ‘3rd and 4th seamers’ with his good friend Andrew Flintoff.

Harmison obviously played an integral part in England winning the Ashes back in 2005 and is keen to replicate such a series next summer when Australia come to England once again. He says that for England to beat the Aussies is a very ‘realistic goal’ and having tasted victory against them as well as a 5-0 whitewash – he knows which he enjoyed being part of more. The England players involved in this disastrous series, including Harmison, will be very keen to banish it from their memories with a positive outcome against a much change Australia team next summer.

There does seem to be a new determination from Harmison. He sounds like he has regained his passion for representing the England team. He obviously works well under the captain Pietersen and this will benefit the England side a great deal. With Harmison’s unique pace and bounce, he is a bowler that can strike fear into the opposition. If England are to win the Ashes next year, the likes of Harmison, Flintoff and Pietersen will be the key men. It was certainly good to see them all in top form against South Africa this summer. Long may that continue!

Instead of looking too far ahead though, it really is worth highlighting the fantastic season that Harmison has had. In his own words he started the new campaign at his ‘lowest ebb’. However, he has ended it not only back in the England team, but with his Durham winning the County Championship for the first time. After his distinctly below average performance in New Zealand, many cricket bets were being placed on Harmison never playing for England again. The way he has fought back has to be admired, even by his biggest critics.

It is important that Harmison continues his recent revival though. There is a lot of cricket to be played until now and the Ashes and it will be interesting to see if he can perform sufficiently on tour. Should everything continue to go swimmingly in the land of Harmison over the next few months, there is no doubt that the cricket odds are more likely to favour England winning the Ashes. The likes of Ricky Ponting, Michael Clarke and Michael Hussey would rather not face a fired up, in form Steve Harmison – of that I have no doubt. Keep it going Steve!

Thomas Rooney - Freelance Sports Journalist

Post from: Flintoffs Ashes.

Harmison: Bring On The Ashes!

Tags: andrew flintoff, cricket, steve harmison, the ashes

I’ve used Kitbag before and I have to say that I was impressed with the speed of service. I ordered online and my stuff turned up a couple of days later. Can’t ask for more than that.

They’re offering deals on everything - bats, pads, helmets, shirts, batting gloves and stock all the major cricket kit suppliers including Gray Nicolls, Woodworm, Gunn and Moore, Newbery and adidas.

I’m tempted to pick up one of the England ODI shirts but I’m a bit worried about the fit. The new technology all sounds great if you’re a finely tuned athlete but what about a bloke who drinks far too much beer and has Dominos Pizza on speed dial?

adidas created ForMotion™ to follow every curve of the athlete’s body and mimic the natural movement of sport for a better fit and greater comfort while in motion. Its sport-specific fabrics also feature extreme stretch zones that allow the garment to move naturally with the body even during the most strenuous of athletic activities.

Have any Flintoffs Ashes readers purchased one of the new England ODI shirts? I’m particularly interested in hearing from the ones who possess a six roll rather than a six pack.

Post from: Flintoffs Ashes.

Kitbag End of Season Sale

Somehow I managed to miss the fact that the Flintoffs Ashes blog was 2 years old the other day. Yep, it was two years ago on 13th September that I relaunched the site as a cricket blog and I single handedly forgot to celebrate.

What a twat.

So, rather belatedly, I thought I’d wish myself a Happy Birthday and look back on some of the stuff I’ve posted over the last two years.

The most popular post since the relaunch has been the Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath Little Britain post. It still gets hundreds of views a month despite being nearly two years old. It consists of 56 words and one picture. Maybe that’s the key to successful cricket blogging. Fewer words, more pictures taking the piss out of Australian cricketers. There’s a lesson to be learnt there, kids.

Taking the piss out of Australians also features in the second most popular post - Barmy Army v Fanatics and the next few in the list are all the match reports from the 2005 Ashes series so there’s a definite trend occurring here. Let’s hope England can batter the Aussies in the 2008 Ashes series and I can be top of the pile once more. Mwhahaha!

Other stuff that folks seem to have enjoyed include the one where I question cricket players sexuality, that one about sitting down, the one about the one legged bunny boiler and the pic of Forrest Clark.

Have a delve through the archives and let me know what your favourite posts have been over the last couple of years.

One of the things that disturbed me looking back through two years worth of stats is the sheer volume of people who come to Flintoffs Ashes - a cricket blog, let’s not forget - looking for pictures of Dawn French. Naked. It’s all thanks to this one blog post. I hope they go away..ahem..satisfied.

Some of the other funny stuff that people search for include

• we are the army the barmy army we are mental
• you smell of wee
• collingwood strippers
• flintoff twat
• andrew flintoff naked
• feeling sleepy after lunch
• naked arses
• tits to go
• fat gay
• andrew flintoff’s trousers

Sometimes I get scared when I see what people have searched for.

Big thanks to the following websites that have linked to me in the past and sent me bucket loads of free traffic. TMS Blog. The Corridor. My two cents. Cricket-Blog. AYALAC. STUmpCam. After Grog Blog.

Finally big thanks to you for reading the site. I know I don’t update it as often as I should and I know I start lots of ‘regular series’ which never quite get finished but isn’t that the fun of it all? Eh? Anyway thanks for stopping by and leaving comments. Hope you enjoy the occasional ramblings of an out of work actor who loves cricket and couldn’t back the winner in a one horse race.

Post from: Flintoffs Ashes.

Two Not Out

Tags: cricket, flintoffs ashes, glenn mcgrath, little britain, shane warne

Instead, his ‘grand farewell’ came in a Pro40 game against Middlesex. Hick did receive an excellent ovation during this game, but he only scored 14 and many feel it is a shame that he wasn’t able to see out his final season as a professional cricketer. The player himself though was more than happy with the outcome, saying that he would have liked to had waited until Christmas until he announced his decision ‘when everyone was too busy to notice’.

Everyone knows that Hick never quite performed on the international stage and the word most associated with him was ‘frustrating’. This annoys me though. Yes, Hick was a talented batsman, but sometimes players simply aren’t cut out for international cricket. It’s the same with football. Look at Ian Wright and Andy Cole for example. At club level they couldn’t stop scoring, but for England – it never quite happened. It’s the same with Hick. Some people blame the England coaching team for ruining his confidence, but overall I think we have to accept that he simply wasn’t good enough to perform with the required consistency.

Perhaps it was a mental issue that Hick had. After all, he has recently admitted that he lacked the ‘cutting edge’ needed to perform at the highest level. I suppose that this does have substance because Hick did manage secure five test match centuries and 18 fifties. That’s not achieved by just anybody. However, his average of just over 30 tells its own story. During his 114 test match innings, he failed to make 50 on no less than 90 occasions. He failed far too often and in the end, 16 runs in two innings against Sri Lanka back in 2001 turned out to be his lot.

He has been a fantastic representative for Worcestershire though and for that he has gained nothing but respect. The cricket odds have rarely backed them to be in line for many trophies and although he hasn’t been playing for England in the last seven years, he has continued playing for his beloved county with great individual success. This highlights his love for enjoying the game of cricket and perhaps emphasises that he is happy enough going without the competitive edge of the international game.

You would always be happy placing a cricket bet on Hick getting some runs for Worcestershire – in any form of the game. He is a man that has broken countless records, making 526 first-class appearances and scoring an incredible 41,112 runs along the way. The fact that he averaged over 50 in a career spanning 25 years really is quite something.

I would sit here and list all the records he has broken, but I’m pretty sure they will all be on display in various columns and blogs during the coming weeks as English cricket says farewell to one of its most respected and successful cricketers of all time.

Thomas Rooney - Freelance Sports Journalist

Post from: Flintoffs Ashes.

Hick sneaks out of county crickets back door

Tags: county cricket, cricket, graeme hick