The Ashes
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It’s 6 months since my hopes and dreams were cruelly shattered by a bunch of cheese stealing sheep worriers. The mourning period was long, painful and included the World Cup debacle but I felt I was slowly coming to terms with the loss of the Ashes. Wins against a woeful West Indies team in the Test series (let’s not mention the one dayers, eh?) and the news that Marcus “I’m Not Mental” Trescothick was on his way back filled me with joy and happiness and maybe a touch of wind.
That was until the morning when I read this:
Aussie Googlers don’t take ourselves too seriously, we love a good laugh, we’re always happy to make fools of ourselves for a good cause (so long as we’re beating the Poms in the Ashes).
This is taken from the official Google blog. One of the biggest companies on the planet is taking the piss out of us long suffering England cricket fans. So much for their “Do No Evil” philosophy, eh? Do they not realise the pain that this sporting loss meant to so many people? I guess not. After all they come from a land where a world series is contested by only teams from one country.
Well we’ll see who is laughing soon, Mr Google, when you launch your new multi million dollar data centre over in Australia and return in a couple of months time to find it full of sheep droppings, empty cans of XXXX and a note saying all your employees have fucked off to Europe on a Contiki tour.
Tags : Cricket, The Ashes, England, Australia, Google
Written by Mike on July 10th, 2007 with no comments.
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Sorry for not writing anything over the last couple of days but, to be honest, I’m still in mourning. It’s a bit like when your gran dies. You know it’s going to happen, she’s not been feeling well for a while and everyone keeps telling you that you’ve got to prepare yourself for the inevitable but you can’t stop yourself from thinking back to when she was fit and healthy and you feel that there’s still a chance she might surprise everyone by jumping up out of her sick bed in her piss stained nightie and do a little jig in front of the very doctors who had declared her clinically dead.
Sadly, in this case, grans doctor was Harold Shipman and the inevitable happened so I’m still moping around the place kicking next doors cat.
As a side line, I changed the ring tone on my mobile phone at the start of the Ashes to Soul Limbo thanks to Will over at The Corridor. I’ve just changed it to something equally suitable - Back in Black by AC/DC.
Tags : Cricket, The Ashes, England
Written by Mike on January 7th, 2007 with 6 comments.
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It’s really strange. There’s another 15 minutes or so until play starts and I’m almost tempted not to watch. It’s like I’m about to view some sort of sordid event on live TV. A public flogging. It’s a weird feeling. Like I’m doing something I shouldn’t be doing. Forget watching the Saddam Hussein execution video on YouTube, this is serious hardcore depravity.
I’d rather be caught watching a video of Cherie Blair giving a goat fellatio than for anyone to stumble across me watching the next couple of hours of Sky TV.
Tags : Cricket, The Ashes, England, Australia, Fifth Test
Written by Mike on January 4th, 2007 with 5 comments.
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Naseem Hamed was recently stripped of his MBE for criminal behaviour. I think the England team will be next. Their crime?
Fraud.
Tags : Cricket, The Ashes, England, Australia, Fifth Test
Written by Mike on January 4th, 2007 with no comments.
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Ever since Fat Boy announced he was going to retire at the end of the Sydney Test, all I have heard in interviews with him is how his scriptwriter keeps on coming up with another plot twist.
“So how does it feel, Shane, knowing that you’ll pick up your 700th wicket at the MCG?”
“Ah look, you know, my scriptwriter couldn’t have done a better job….”
“Shane, picking up 5 wickets in your final Test at the MCG. It couldn’t have been better, could it?”
“Ah look, you know, whoever is writing my scripts is doing a fantastic job…”
“So it’s your final Test match, Shane, and you only need one more wicket to reach the milestone of 1000 international wickets. How do you feel?”
“Ah look, you know, the guy writing my script just keeps on pulling rabbits out the hat…”
Shane Warnes scriptwriter is clearly a highly talented scribe who is able to produce moments of high drama, tension and emotion. Sadly, England appear to be using a former EastEnders scriptwriter who, rather than come up with any new story lines, has simply rehashed old scripts and just changed the names of the characters.
Tags : Cricket, The Ashes, England, Australia, Fifth Test
Written by Mike on January 3rd, 2007 with no comments.
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