Football World Cup? Who Gives A (Full) Toss?

In a couple of weeks time the football World Cup kicks off in South Africa. The newspapers are already starting to crank up the volume and suggesting, like they have done every four years since 1966, that this is Englands year and that they’re going to fly home from Johannesburg with the trophy.

I don’t know about you but I couldn’t give a toss.

Personally, I’ve pretty much lost all interest in top level football these days. Money has ruined the sport and the people that play the game are nothing more than overpaid cheats – both on and off the field. Sure, I’ll cheer England on but I’m not exactly excited at the prospect of four weeks of wall-to-wall cheating, play acting and pictures of WAGs plastered all over the papers.

There is no official England World Cup song this year (thank God) so I suggest that all English cricket fans embrace the following as our World Cup tune of choice. It’s from everyone’s favourite Chap-Hop artist, Mr B. The Gentleman Rhymer. It’s rather jolly good.

Mr.B’s World Cup Song by gentlemanrhymer

Just in case you can’t get enough of Mr B, here’s the legendary cover he did of of NWA’s “Straight Outta Compton”.

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England Win Something. Bloody Hell.


Quite frankly I don’t know what to say. This is uncharted territory. England winning a one day tournament. Not only that but a Twenty20 tournament. Did someone forget to tell them that we’re shit at T20?

I didn’t see much of the tournament but did manage to watch the final yesterday and couldn’t help but feel I was watching a different team. I guess this was probably because I was. Andy Flower has assembled a squad of Twenty20 specialists who are very different to previous England Twenty20 specialists. This lot are actually quite good.

It’s not just that. From what I’ve read and from what I witnessed yesterday, there’s an energy and, more importantly, a belief in this group of players. Right from the outset, they believed they could beat Australia and beat them they did.

No. That’s not true.

England thrashed Australia.

It’s couldn’t have been more of a thrashing if Paul Collingwood had pulled down Michael Clarkes trousers and thwapped his bare naked rump with one of the stumps (preferably not the one containing StumpCam as we’d have then been “treated” to super slow mo images of Clarkes rusty sheriffs badge in the post match review).

OK so a lot has been made about the number of Saffers in the team and that Eoin Morgan had played internationally for Ireland but to the haters Aussies reading this I say pffffffffffft. No rules were broken and in the eyes of the ICC Morgan is as English as I am, to be sure, to be sure.

Regardless of all that, the England players deserved to win the tournament and deserved their post match celebrations. After all, they are the World Twenty20 champions so who could refuse them a good old fashioned English knees up of a braai and a few pints of the Black Stuff?

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