Well England have been pretty woeful in the One Day series against New Zealand, haven’t they? Battered into submission by a fat bloke and a guy that reminds me of Tom Hanks in Saving Private Ryan. Dunno why. He just does.

So much for a team that former Black Cap Ian Smith described as being the best England one-day team he has seen in years. I’m just wondering just how much cricket Smith has been able to watch in between rifling the pie shops of Wellington.

I really can’t see how England can fight their way back into the series. From what I’ve seen we look like a team all out of sorts and lacking leadership. I’ve got nothing against Paul Collingwood - some of my best friends are gingers - but I don’t see him as an inspirational leader. Maybe I’m wrong but I don’t think I’ll be taking up Totesports generous 9/2 on England to win the series.

Still, at least Lord Fred is on his way back. Peter Moores seems to think that Flintoff will be back to something close to his best after his fourth ankle operation. Let’s hope so, eh? Putting his cricket performance to one side for a second, this England team is woefully short of anyone you’d put your money on to beat Jesse Ryder in a yard of ale contest.

Anyway, I’m going to be moving Flintoffs Ashes to a new server over the next couple of days so if you happen to pop by and find everything has gone Pete Tong, you’ll know the reason why.