We’re Doomed – Doomed I Tell You

Private Frazer

Well unless there is a serious outbreak of Monty Magic tomorrow, it’s pretty safe to say that we’re going to lose the second Test to India. Despite the fact that this is the wettest summer in living memory, the weather is unlikely to save us so we’ll be going to The (insert this years sponsors name) Oval hoping to salvage a draw in the series.

It’s been a bit of a fractious series, what with all the kafuffle over sledging. The papers have been full of it and that’s no surprise. Now I’ve not seen too much of this series so was unaware that there had been a problem but having read the Urban Dictionary definition for sledging, I think the pundits might have a point.

Sledging: Sledging or �Butt Skiddies� is the term given to the act a dog carries out when it has itchy hindquarters, mainly from worms. The act involves the dog lifting its hind legs above its shoulders and dragging it�s rump along the ground with its forepaws.

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Google Don’t Give A XXXX

Castlemaine XXXX - Tastes like wee

It’s 6 months since my hopes and dreams were cruelly shattered by a bunch of cheese stealing sheep worriers. The mourning period was long, painful and included the World Cup debacle but I felt I was slowly coming to terms with the loss of the Ashes. Wins against a woeful West Indies team in the Test series (let’s not mention the one dayers, eh?) and the news that Marcus “I’m Not Mental” Trescothick was on his way back filled me with joy and happiness and maybe a touch of wind.

That was until the morning when I read this:

Aussie Googlers don’t take ourselves too seriously, we love a good laugh, we’re always happy to make fools of ourselves for a good cause (so long as we’re beating the Poms in the Ashes).

This is taken from the official Google blog. One of the biggest companies on the planet is taking the piss out of us long suffering England cricket fans. So much for their “Do No Evil” philosophy, eh? Do they not realise the pain that this sporting loss meant to so many people? I guess not. After all they come from a land where a world series is contested by only teams from one country.

Well we’ll see who is laughing soon, Mr Google, when you launch your new multi million dollar data centre over in Australia and return in a couple of months time to find it full of sheep droppings, empty cans of XXXX and a note saying all your employees have fucked off to Europe on a Contiki tour.

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