UK Smoking Ban

After tonight, smoking will be banned in pubs and clubs in the UK. Whilst I’m sure some people will see this as being a good thing, I’m dreading it. I enjoy a ciggie with my pint and I’m really going to miss it after a game of cricket. There was nothing I enjoyed doing more than blowing my second hand smoke all over the fit, healthy athletic opposition that had just been steam rollered by my team of of wheezing, overweight alcoholics.

Like a lot of smokers, I’ve thought about quitting but it doesn’t appear that being able to bowl the doosra is listed as one of the benefits of quitting smoking so I guess I’ll be spending my time sitting outside the pavilion puffing away whilst all those non-smokers sit inside in the warm and doing whatever it is that non-smokers do in pubs when they’re not bleating about second hand smoke and mentioning Roy Castle.

Apparently Ladbrokes have been offering prices on the first high profile celebrity to be fined for smoking in a public building. My money is on Shane Warne.

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England Get The Trotts

So Paul Collingwood has been confirmed as the new England ODI captain. No real surprises there although the new squad has an interesting look to it.

Paul Collingwood (Captain), James Anderson, Ian Bell, Stuart Broad, Alastair Cook, Dimitri Mascarenhas, Monty Panesar, Kevin Pietersen, Liam Plunkett, Matt Prior, Owais Shah, Ryan Sidebottom, Jonathan Trott, Michael Yardy

Some new faces in the squad after the dismal World Cup failure. I haven’t got a clue what Jonathan Trott does although, apparently, he’s another Saffa so at least KP will have someone to share his bultong with whereas Dimitri is from the long and distinguished line of Mascarenhas’ who were former lords of the manor in Smethwick back in the 16th Century. Maybe.

Pleased to see the return of Michael Yardy. I think that Sky Sports should make it compulsory that every time he’s mentioned in commentary that only Michael Holding can say his name. It just sounds so cool when Whispering Death says it.

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Michael Vaughan Pants Down Shocker

So first he loses his trousers and then he loses the one day captaincy. Coincedance? I don’t think so…There’s a conspiracy occurring and no mistake. The ECB are looking for a scapegoat for the disastrous 2007 World Cup.

After Pedalogate, we now have Pantyhogate.

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Photoshop Friday Part 1

Stuart Clark or Forrest Gump? I can't tell them apart

4th Test

Well I’ve just got back from the frozen wastes that constitute the area known as “North Of The Watford Gap” and I can confirm that it is pissing down with rain in Durham at the moment.

My acting work took me up to Newcastle today and, on the train on the way home, I passed Durham and it looks grimmer than Jacob and Wilhelm on a particularly pissed off kind of day. To be honest the chances of play tomorrow look about as bright as Jade Goody.

So, with that in mind, tomorrow will be the first Photoshop Friday. I know I promised it a couple of weeks ago but…well…y’know…

By the way, does anyone in the West London area fancy playing a bit of cricket? Just Sunday afternoon friendlies. Nothing too taxing, like. The ability to drink your own body weight in beer preferred. Drop me a line if you’re interested in playing for the worlds worst cricket team.

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Cricket Kit