Sorry for not writing anything over the last couple of days but, to be honest, I’m still in mourning. It’s a bit like when your gran dies. You know it’s going to happen, she’s not been feeling well for a while and everyone keeps telling you that you’ve got to prepare yourself for the inevitable but you can’t stop yourself from thinking back to when she was fit and healthy and you feel that there’s still a chance she might surprise everyone by jumping up out of her sick bed in her piss stained nightie and do a little jig in front of the very doctors who had declared her clinically dead.
Sadly, in this case, grans doctor was Harold Shipman and the inevitable happened so I’m still moping around the place kicking next doors cat.
As a side line, I changed the ring tone on my mobile phone at the start of the Ashes to Soul Limbo thanks to Will over at The Corridor. I’ve just changed it to something equally suitable - Back in Black by AC/DC.
Tags : Cricket, The Ashes, England
It’s really strange. There’s another 15 minutes or so until play starts and I’m almost tempted not to watch. It’s like I’m about to view some sort of sordid event on live TV. A public flogging. It’s a weird feeling. Like I’m doing something I shouldn’t be doing. Forget watching the Saddam Hussein execution video on YouTube, this is serious hardcore depravity.
I’d rather be caught watching a video of Cherie Blair giving a goat fellatio than for anyone to stumble across me watching the next couple of hours of Sky TV.
Tags : Cricket, The Ashes, England, Australia, Fifth Test
Naseem Hamed was recently stripped of his MBE for criminal behaviour. I think the England team will be next. Their crime?
Fraud.
Tags : Cricket, The Ashes, England, Australia, Fifth Test
Ever since Fat Boy announced he was going to retire at the end of the Sydney Test, all I have heard in interviews with him is how his scriptwriter keeps on coming up with another plot twist.
“So how does it feel, Shane, knowing that you’ll pick up your 700th wicket at the MCG?”
“Ah look, you know, my scriptwriter couldn’t have done a better job….”
“Shane, picking up 5 wickets in your final Test at the MCG. It couldn’t have been better, could it?”
“Ah look, you know, whoever is writing my scripts is doing a fantastic job…”
“So it’s your final Test match, Shane, and you only need one more wicket to reach the milestone of 1000 international wickets. How do you feel?”
“Ah look, you know, the guy writing my script just keeps on pulling rabbits out the hat…”
Shane Warnes scriptwriter is clearly a highly talented scribe who is able to produce moments of high drama, tension and emotion. Sadly, England appear to be using a former EastEnders scriptwriter who, rather than come up with any new story lines, has simply rehashed old scripts and just changed the names of the characters.
Tags : Cricket, The Ashes, England, Australia, Fifth Test
Well we’re less than 24 hours into 2007 and already I’ve had a cigarette and a beer so that’s two of my resolutions buggered. It’s all Duncan Fletchers fault.
- England losing the Ashes
- Monty Panesar not playing until the Third Test
- James Brown dying
- Bulgaria and Romania joining the EU
- Cliff Richard
- The colour beige
- Me smoking and drinking
Quite frankly, everything bad that has ever happened in the history of..ermm..ever..is being blamed on Duncan Fletcher so I figured I might as well join in.
As I’ve said before, I don’t really think that everything can be blamed on Fletcher but it’s easier than suggesting that I’m weak willed and a slave to nicotine and alcohol.
Only another hour until the start of the final Test. Somehow I can see me cursing Fletcher a few more times before I fall into an alcohol induced, tobacco smelling slumber.
Tags : Cricket, The Ashes, England, Australia, Fifth Test
