It’s really strange. There’s another 15 minutes or so until play starts and I’m almost tempted not to watch. It’s like I’m about to view some sort of sordid event on live TV. A public flogging. It’s a weird feeling. Like I’m doing something I shouldn’t be doing. Forget watching the Saddam Hussein execution video on YouTube, this is serious hardcore depravity.

I’d rather be caught watching a video of Cherie Blair giving a goat fellatio than for anyone to stumble across me watching the next couple of hours of Sky TV.

Tags : Cricket, The Ashes, England, Australia, Fifth Test

Naseem Hamed was recently stripped of his MBE for criminal behaviour. I think the England team will be next. Their crime?

Fraud.

Tags : Cricket, The Ashes, England, Australia, Fifth Test