There’s just 7 short days to go until it all starts again and Australia have today named their Ashes squad to face England.

Ricky Ponting, Matthew Hayden, Justin Langer, Damien Martyn, Michael Hussey, Shane Watson, Adam Gilchrist, Shane Warne, Brett Lee, Glenn McGrath, Stuart Clark, Mitchell Johnson and Shaun Tait

Ricky Ponting took time out from his batting practice to comment “I’m pretty disappointed with the squad selection, to be honest. I mean..where’s MacGill? Who’s going to carry the fuckin’ drinks now? And what about Dizzy? He always used to keep a stash of cold beers in his caravan. I gotta say that I’m seriously pissed off about us not playing Michael Clarke too. Who’s Mark Nicholas gonna cream in his pants about this series? Nah, mate. Not at all happy about this.”

According to Cricket Australia spokesman, Shane Mangle, Glenn McGrath was unavailable for comment on account of the fact they play bingo on a Thursday at the Wanga Wanga Old Folks Home and “it’s nice to mix with people of his own age once in a while”. Shane Warne was unavailable for comment on account of him eating a pie the size of Bristol. Adam Gilchrist was unavailable for comment on account of him being a jug eared twat.

Tags : Cricket, The Ashes, Australia